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Vegetarian blues

Conversation with a friend:

She: I am so happy that I am a vegetarian now.
I: Hmm.
She: It is obvious that vegetarians are less aggressive.
I: Really?
She: Yes, think of Mahatma Gandhi.
I: And Adolf Hitler? He was a vegetarian.
She: Right! It was his vegetarian alter-ego that make him do useful things, like building autobahns.
I (impatient): What? The man was a menace!
She: You see? That was the carnivore in him.
I: ? Well, I know one thing. Eating no meat obviously causes oral diarrhea and idiocy.
She: Really? Where did you read that?
I: I just witnessed it. 
She (surprised and curious): Where? Where?!?
I: In the conversation that we just had.
She (insulted): My god are you aggressive! Have you been eating meat?
I: No, I haven't had meat in 2 years!
She (sniffing): have you been drinking again?
I (indignant): Only one vodka.
She: More like two! You vegetarians are all the same. You compensate the lack of meat by booze!
I: Your Adolf Hitler didn't drink!
She: Ah, but Gandhi did! 
I: No, he didn't!
She: Sure he did! Rum! Smoking them big cigars too!
I (by now utterly confused): Uh... Gandhi?
She: Yes Gandhi! The Cuban!
I: That wasn't Gandhi! That was Che Guevara !
She: Is he a vegetarian too?

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