Even more here: www.clemenssuter.com


How to Survive the Apocalypse. Some highly ineffective recommendations .

John Harpsicord*), a follower of this blog, asked: What about the name of this blog dude! “Survive the Apocalypse” – I can’t find any apocalyptic content and no survival tips. Huh, WTF is that about? Confusing.

Well John, at face value you do have a point. So let me explain why in fact this blog is ALL about surviving the apocalypse! suggestions.

Once the apocalypse strikes – which may happen earlier than you think, through a deadly combination of global warming, over-population and some completely inept political leaders (so sad !) – there is very little that we can do. Stocking up on emergency food, baseball bats and pepper spray may sound like a sound strategy, but in reality you won’t know what has hit you. So the best survival strategy is… enjoy life while you can! Take life with a grain of salt and a lot of humor, because none of us know how long we or good ol’ Earth will be around.

The apocalypse does make for some great reading, as reflected in my adventure novels (curious ? Look here www.clemenssuter.com/books), and you can find a lot of information about these books on this blog, which is another explanation for the name.

And finally: aren’t we all, in one way or another, surviving our own personal apocalypse each and every day? Life and living are tough as shit; and most confusingly, they are also absolutely beautiful. That’s what I try to bring across in my books and in the title of this blog: the negative of the Apocalypse and the beauty of Survival. Yin and Yang. And the confusion of it all: there are no easy explanations, life is complex and unpredictable.

And yes: drink more coffee, drink less alcohol.

*) name (slightly) changed

Photo by Charles Deluvio

Survive the apocalypse with appropriate headwear. Life is a contradiction and can be confusing as hell, so better enjoy it while you can (Photo by Charles Deluvio)

 

 

Another shocking appearance in my dinner. Egg horror strikes again.

Is my kitchen HAUNTED? I have reported in the past about miraculous appearances in my evening dinner: especially in my fried eggs. See for instance these past blogposts:

and
I now report on a more shocking appearance. Is this the Creature of the Blue Lagoon in my eggs and fries? Vincent Price? Quasimodo? WHY?
Creature of the blue lagoon

Egg of horror

Top ideas for your blog and self-publishing novels.

Carly, a regular reader of this blog, asked: “why don’t you add ads to your blog? You create such great content; why don’t you monetize?”

This got me thinking. I’ve been blogging for 10+ years, and here are some observations how I’ve faired.

1. Included ads in my blog for a number of years, and made… about $13. Why is that? For my blog I like to focus on content that I personally like. This is not mainstream content, it isn’t about gossip, sex or even any single topic. This affects the number of hits, and also the number of times people click on an ad. At this moment in time, monetizing the blog isn’t worthwhile, and the ads distract the reader.

2. I have invested months in studying and implementing SEO, and I still follow most of the rules (although the effort is considerable). In reality, 90% of the referrals to my blog arrive from my tweets on Twitter, 7% from Facebook, and the rest from other channels – including search engines searches. So much for the impact of SEO!

3. Blogs compete for attention, and as more and more people are blogging, the tougher it is to stick out from the crowd. Better focus on content than on all the methodology and wild ideas to monetize. My main purpose is to sell my books, and for that the blog is useful; a single site to attract people to.

4. Talking about selling books. I write mostly SciFi adventures http://clemenssuter.com/books and self-publish. Intriguing observation: >95% of the books are purchased on iTunes. All other book formats such as Kindle, Kobo, and for other eBook readers as well as paperbacks make up the other 5%. I suspect it has to do with the genre. It also has to do with Amazon: Amazon does not allow the removal of a first version of my first novel. This confuses the hell out of my readers on this channel.

5. The challenge with writing a novel is that nowadays anyone with a laptop can be an author. Writing has been democratized, which is on the one hand splendid, on the other hand it is harder to rise above the noise. Perseverance and enthusiasm for the written word – these are the ingredients that will help you to be an author for a long time.

#amreading

Two men reading one of my books on an iPhone.

Celebrating the 2010 release of my novel Two Journeys with a limited edition coffee mug.

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This special commemorative coffee mug can be filled with 350ml of hot coffee (even steaming hot: it is fully temperature resistant). All types are supported: latte, cappuccino, koffie verkeerd or macchiato; just pour it in through the opening at the top. Its smooth surface even protects against the oxidative  effects of Devil’s Brew!

And how about the artwork? The cover of Two Journeys on the front, and a mysterious QR code on the back!

Where does it lead, you will wonder? Which miraculous domain of the internet?

Learn more here: http://clemenssuter.com/books

The Marvelous Secret Art of Whistling

“Stop whistling, Clemens. Only laborers whistle,” my great friend and teacher Christian K. used to say. However, Christian was Austrian, and like many citizens from that cutlet-shaped country,  leaned towards eccentricity. Highly sympathetic but thank you for the advice no thanks: this is a beneficial strategy in such circumstances.

I am glad I listened to most of Christian‘s advice, but ignored this particular insight.

Many years later I had an eye opening experience with music. As a birthday present, my wife gave me an accordeon training. A crash course with a professional acordeon player, Dale King was the gentleman’s name. At the end of which I walked from the experience with the rewarding conclusion that I could, and would, never be able to play ANY musical instrument. Except for a CD player or smartphone, my limbs are unable to extract any melodious or rhythmic sound from any instrument.

But I can whistle. Whereas my singing capabilities are limited (there is some truth in the statement that everybody can and should sing), my whistling borders on the level of virtuoso. The tunes that Yehudi Menuin could squeeze from his Stradivari after long years of tortuous practice, effortlessly leave my two lips with no practice at all (a few heretics, like my family members, disagree with this assessment).

Whistling – it truly seems to be a secret art. I couldn’t find any article or reference  about the effect of whistling on well-being, physical health, war and piece, the economy or whatsoever. There are no lists of famous Hollywood actors or politicians that indulge in this activity.

But I LOVE it. In fact, here comes Puccini’s Madame Butterfly. Beats my vocal version by a length.

Read more here: http://clemenssuter.com/books

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If you look carefully you can spot a whistling mouth hidden in this amputed lowers limb 

 

 

 

 

Well, who would have guessed? There is no…

There is no word for ‘vagina’ in Burma.

There is no planet b.

There is No Clash Between Al-Quran and Science.

Do. Or do not. There is no try.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

There Are No Spoons.

There’s no accounting for taste.

There is no Dana, only Zuul.

There is no life before coffee.

There’s No Z in Boise.

There Is No Zoo in Zoology.

There is no life on the moon.

Read more here: www.clemenssuter.com/books

 

 

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Anyone for a game of Solitaire? Multiplayer Mode On!

Is Solitaire a game for multiple players? My answer: definitely yes. Playing as a team not only adds a lot of fun. Building on a coach’s expertise greatly intensifies the playing experience, as the below conversation illustrates.

Wife: “What are you playing?”

“A game of solitaire.”

“How does that work?”

“Just watch, it explains itself.”

A minute of silence.

Wife: “Put the red seven on the black eight.”

“Yes, I saw.”

“The black four. On the red five.”

“Thanks you, yes.”

“Why do you put that ace at the top?”

“That’s part of the game. At the end you should collect all cards of the same kind in four stacks at the top.”

“Put the black jack on the queen of hearts.”

“I saw that one.”

“You’re not very fast at this. The three. Put the black three on the four of hearts.”

“I saw that one.”

“The seven. You can put the seven on that eight. You’re really taking your time.”

“My hand cannot move as fast as your eyes. There’s a natural delay between the two actions that can’t be overcome.”

“The six! The six of diamonds on the seven of spades.”

“Yes, I saw.”

“You’re really taking your time.”

“It isn’t about finishing within a certain time. It’s about finishing at all. It’s more strategic and meditative than competitive.”

“The red nine onto the ten.”

“They are the same color. That is not allowed.”

Some silence.

“Stupid game.”

Find information about my books here or order them directly at amazon (paperback or kindle). Also available on iPhone

Playing the nine of hearts!

Solitaire. Probably not a team play

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Effective strategy to lure & trap women.

Spending some quality time at one of my favorite bistros “Fromagerie La Flamme.” Very inspirational: the proprietor has put up a small stand with shopping bags (which to me look quite simple straw contraptions), and I swear: in the last 30 minutes at least 30 women have picked up these bags and one went ahead and bought two! Fellas, if you are are looking for a mate: put a chair with a couple of straw bags in front of your apartment – all you have to do is wait and hey presto: within minutes you’ll have a marriage candidate. It’s more efficient than putting out a piece of raw meat with a layer of marmalade to catch wasps.

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Wonders Still Happen. Even in my eggs, sunny side up.

The face of a famous politician and world leader appears miraculously as I prepare my breakfast. Hallelujah hallelujah, sound the trumpets (sic!), horns and bicunas.

Holy Moses on his arch!

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Top 4 Ways to Support my Pledge Drive / Fundraiser – Making the World a Better Place

Help to improve our planet! Join the May 2018 Pledge Drive ! This is your chance to get engaged – with very little effort. Those of you that follow my blog will know of my past fundraisers, which have been quite successful, as these results show !

Over-population of our planet is a big issue. For that reason I have chosen an interesting charity to donate money to: Overpopulation Awareness. Overpopulation is a major cause of most of the world’s problems. Whether it is a question of food shortage, lack of drinking water or energy shortages, every country in the world is affected by it – or will be. Join me in supporting this very exciting organization.

How does the Pledge Drive / fundraiser work?

Option 1. Buy one of my (a) paperbacks or (b) ebooks (info here). I will double the royalties of all my book sales in the month of May, 2018 and I will donate that sum to the charity above. For instance, just click here to get my eBooks on your Apple device.

Option 2. Retweet this pinned tweet on my Twitter account. For each retweet of that pinned tweet within the month of May, I will donate €1. At no cost to you!

Option 3. Buy any of my paintings in the month of May (use the contact button above to reach me). I will double the amount paid by you for my painting, and I will donate that total sum.

Option 4. Follow my Facebook page.  For each new follower (above the current count of 560), I will donate 5€.

Within two months after close of the fundraiser, I will add up all the royalties across all channels and options, and donate it by direct bank order to the charity – just like I have done in the past (example). Did you know: through these fundraisers, I have donated literally hundreds of euros to select charities.

Spread the word with help of the buttons below. This is your chance to get prime books and paintingsand to make the world a little better!

Important small print: a maximum of 500€ will be donated.

Support today

Raising Funds to Slow Down Population Growth.

 

 

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Eat Yourself Healthy – All about New Trends in Nutrition

Everyone has to eat. No other industry has the potential to so directly impact the well-being of the global population than the food industry. Innovative technologies are already affecting us all: from the rise of wearable fitness devices and DNA-based nutritional profiling, to nutraceuticals and the use of nanotechnology to increase nutrient concentrations in food. Good health is good for us as individuals, and our nutrition also affects business.

The challenge

How does food affect our health? First of all, all over the globe, food is stigmatized as not being that good for us at all: obesity is a global epidemic. In 2008, more than 1.4 billion adults were overweight, and this situation is worsening. Currently, obesity is the fifth leading risk for global deaths: 44% of diabetes burden, 23% of the heart disease burden and 7% to 41% of certain cancer burdens are attributable to obesity. At the same time, we sense that food and nutrition have profound positive effects on our health: just think of the “promotion” of fresh vegetables by our parents at family meals; or special low-fat or low-carb foods available in any supermarket.

Obesity has a dramatic effect on healthcare costs (e.g. 200B$ per year in the USA), and governments are taking this issue very seriously. Individuals are following suit: people are taking charge of their health experience. They expect not only medical care, but any kind of health-related product to be tailored to their specific needs, so that they can live full and healthy lives.

Changing attitudes in nutrition

People are becoming more conscious of what they eat. The number of vegans in Britain rose by 360% in 10 years to half a million individuals – the perceived health benefits driving the trend. Tofu schnitzel, tofu bratwurst, tofu kebab: with 10% of its population going meatless, Germany has the highest rate of vegetarianism compared to its European neighbors. In addition, consumers are reaching out for biofoods, to ensure that fewer chemicals and pesticides land on their plates – and in their stomachs. The European organic market grew by 7.6% to more than 26 billion euros in 2014. U.S. organic sales reached $43.3 billion in 2015 – outstripping the overall food market’s growth rate of a miserly 3% – by growing a whopping 11%. Healthy food is no longer a fad, it is a business.

Far reaching effects

The effects of obesity have been investigated extensively, and the direct causal relationship to e.g. diabetes type II or the increased risk of stroke through heightened blood pressure are well described. However, in many other instances, the effects of food on health are enigmatic. The immune system may well be at the core, as this highly complex, yet very effective apparatus has the capability to protect our body from many attacks. The immune system can detect and destroy abnormal cells and thus prevent many cancers. There is also a direct link between neurological disease and the immune system. Overall, the immune system is influenced by many different nutrition factors – to name but a few: zinc, selenium, vitamins A, C, E and B6 and folic acid; and thus by our diet: e.g. processed food has been described as threatening to our immune system.

The Microbiome

Most interestingly, the gut is the primary site of interaction between the immune system and microorganisms. Just imagine: humans carry ten-fold more bacterial cells than human ones. The microbes that live in our gut (tens of thousands of different species) can easily fill a half-gallon jug. Together they make up the human micobiome, with a tremendous potential to impact our physiology, in health and in disease. These microbes contribute to metabolic functions, protect us against pathogens, educate our immune system, and affect directly or indirectly most of our physiologic functions. The microbiome has therefore been implicated in diseases such as asthma, autism, multiple sclerosis, depression and anxiety, ulcers, and (suprise, surprise) obesity. Needless to say, the microbiome flourishes or suffers by our diet, and thus our food intake has, through the health of our microbiome, an additional effect on our health.

Nutrigenomics and more

What if we could improve our health by eating some foods and avoiding others, based on who we are as individuals, all the way down to our DNA? In comes genomics; or better: nutrigenomics. Adapting dietary advice for particular subsets of people is still very much a work in progress. Classic example: people with phenylketonuria lack an enzyme that breaks down phenylalanine. By limiting phenylalanine in the diet, those with the mutation can avoid intellectual disability and other problems. For that reason, phenylketonuria is screened for at birth. Lactose and gluten intolerance are also genetically hard-coded, although in the latter case the underlying mechanisms are harder to interpret. As the cost of sequencing a human genome continues to drop, it is highly likely that in the nearby future all of us will have our fully annotated genome sequence in the cloud, accessible through a smartphone app. Why not sequence our microbiome on a daily basis – as we flush the toilet? Combine the information from the two in that same app, and receive real-time notifications on what you should eat that day; always up-to-date with the latest insights?

How companies react

Crystal ball aside: many consumer goods companies are investing in the area of nutraceuticals, example focusing e.g. on Alzheimer’s. Again, and perhaps not surprisingly, gastrointestinal health is one of their focus areas too. Brewers are not only turning to genome sequencing to identify how to create certain flavors through knowledge of the yeast genome. A London brewery has launched a service to create a beer personalized to your DNA-based taste preferences. A range of new applications is envisioned in the area of nanoparticles in nutrition: e.g. to improve the bioavailability of bioactive food components. Taken together, as technological progress continues to take quantum leaps and as more scientific facts become available about the interplay between nutrition and health, consumer interest in food quality and beneficial foods will continue to increase.

Marmalade and Cream

The Fat Years Are Over – Time to Start Thinking About Healthy Nutrition?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(This article is adapted from the original blogpost on LinkedIn; the latter contains all the references).

Also look at my novels : www.clemenssuter.com/books

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Sun-yin-yang-tattoo. To be or not to b…eherm: tattoo! Free advice from your beauty expert.


Beautifying yourself is crucial, it is rewarding to stay in tip top shape and your fellow humans will respect, appreciate and like you more. In that regard it may be very rewarding to be able to say: Finally the Sun Yin Yang tattoo is ready!

Yin and Yang and the sun and a tatoo

sun yin yang tattoo

Admittedly NOT on my body, thank you! After long consideration I decided against ANY skin mutilation. After all, this may be hype now, but in ten years that hype may well be over… but any tattoo would still be there! So instead of investing money in this rather special art form, I decided to invest into THIS. In any case, If you’re thinking about tattooling, start small. Give yourself a chance to learn the process, how your skin takes ink, and how your body heals. Don’t do it cheap: a suspiciously cheap tattoo parlour, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. You’re altering your body for life. If that’s not worth a decent investment, I don’t know what is.

No matter how madly in love you are now, putting your hubby’s or one-night stand’s name on your body is risky – if not stupid. Be certain that you stand behind your choice for the rest of your (or your partner’s) life. As a tattooist of mine once said, “You want it removed? Bring an axe bro.” Changing Mary to Harry is simple enough (if you adjust in other dimensions as well), but changing Mary to Zebedee, or Kevin Spacey to George “Nespresso” Clooney is near impossible. If you’ve got a tattoo, people will talk about it. They’ll judge you, they will put you in a mental drawer, and they will slam it shut and lock it and throw away the key. So you have to decide about the location: a hidden spot (chest, your back, buttock, or certain organs) or out in the open (cheeks, nose, forehead, hands, neck, ears, calves if you are a short-/skirt-man or certain organs, if you’re that kind of guy).

In any case. Stay in shape, stay clean, dress well – and leave your body as it is – that’s my motto.

My books on Kindle.

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Writing and marketing a novel. Tips and tricks & free advice #iamwriting

How to make money with your writing? Don’t try to make money with your writing!

Agreed, there are some authors that sit down to write, deliberately, their “next hit”. What differentiates you from all those other writers out there is… your stories, your thoughts, your style – put them to paper! You will need to allow the flow of words to come out, your ideas. Be your own most critical editor. Read your texts as if you are a stranger: would you buy this book? Would you actually read it, if someone gave it as a present?

When I started writing as a boy, I used to re-read my own texts weeks later, and most I tore up in frustration. I hated my own words. My style sucked. I was too young and impatient to write long sentences, writing a single page took me hours. As a result, I tried to cram too much action onto a single page, and that made for very bad writing. Other sentences were full with beautiful words, that I had read in other books. The words weren’t my own. I lacked experience. As a young boy or teenager, your life may be overflowing with experiences, but in reality, “you ain’t seen nothing yet”. As an adult, you have seen it all, and your mind is filled to the brim with memories. The only thing that you need to do is to knit these memories into a story. That doesn’t mean that good authors do not copy: but not from authors, instead from the life that they have lived and the people that they have met. I am not implying that young people shouldn’t write or that they can’t be good authors – experience helps create a great story – and so does practice.

Writing then and now

Book publishing was always a stressful business. In the past, a typical author sat down with a stack of paper, and wrote an initial manuscript (sometimes by hand). This was passes on to a publisher, who would accept or decline the book. A contract covering the royalties would be signed. A typist would turn a handwritten manuscript into a printable text. The book would be published, and with each edition, typos and errors would be removed, based on feedback from the readers. An author was a literary craftsperson, a rare species, focused on getting compelling stories to paper.

Nowadays, anybody can be an author. If you have a laptop, you can create a story within weeks (even days), and in the space of half an hour, you can switch the book live at an internet publishing house, and your novel is automatically pushed out to half a dozen types of devices. There is virtually no interaction with the publisher, royalties and taxes are dealt with by ticking a couple of checkboxes. Today’s author is a cowboy with a laptop, one amongst many, and focused on getting a story out, fast. This is also reflected by the publishing houses: Smashwords specializes in publication of eBooks. Ironically their homepage dominantly states: “Words Published: 16,867,232,325″ – obviously, it isn’t QUALITY that counts, but QUANTITY.

As an author you have one option in this publishing madness: create the books that you believe in. Don’t enter this market with the illusion to get rich – most authors die poor. That hasn’t changed.

More about the books by Clemens P. Suter https://clemenssuter.com/books

Authors carry the world ont heir shoulder.

Writing is hard work. Experience leads to great work.

“Naked woman jumps into the pool” Sketch 20x30cm, 2018

Admittedly I’m a bit upset because winter keeps on dragging on and dragging on, and outside the weather is really horrible. Sleet drips out of the sky. It isn’t really freezing but it is also not very warm, the weather is like tepid beer. The sky is gray and heavy with rain, just waiting to poor down. It has been like this for the last six weeks. No weather to go to a pool, and no naked woman jumping into either.

It isn’t really freezing but is also not very warm, and the sky is gray and heavy with rain, just waiting to poor down. It has been like this for the last six weeks.

Spring spring beautiful spring

I am looking forward to summer time. The flowers in the garden are beginning to grow out of the ground and the rosebush has a lot of fresh green little leaves. So nature is actually ready to stop the winter blues and to move into spring.

Well, if summer isn’t here yet, then at least I can make a drawing that reminds me of summer. So take out the old crayons, sit down and made a picture of a gorgeous naked woman jumping into a cool pool in the middle of a hot summer. Is she alone? Is her boy- or girlfriend perhaps on the side of the pool? Or is she in the middle of a crowd? The picture doesn’t tell. It shows a person, confident and, most of all, enjoying the weather and having fun.

You can find more of my sketches and paintings at the following link. Check out my art here: www.clemenssuter.com/art

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Crayon drawing of a naked woman jumping into a summertime pool

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A picture of the summertime sky – beautiful memories

The weather is almost like it is in England in summertime: cool, windy and rainy. The dust is gone from the air and has been replaced by the fresh smell of drizzle and wet leaves and water on the pavement. I miss the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, causing the conviction that life is beginning over again with the summer, just as it stops and halts with fall and winter. The world smelling of roses, cold beer and lawns that are fighting to keep the water. The pleasure that water brings in summertime is undisputed, in winter water is frozen and hard and unpleasant, but in summer refreshing and welcoming. Sunshine like powdered gold over the grassy hillsides, light everywhere and always, in patches and splashes or simply in one big blinding chunk. And in those long dusks of summer, we walk suburban streets, with the smell of concrete that is hot to the touch, plagued by an early thirst. Maple and cut grass, waiting for something to happen. Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August, and those months are full of memories and associations from childhood, and innocence. Nothing more beautiful than falling in love in the summer, when laziness overtakes us and makes us slow down and we waste away hours on terraces, drinking exotic drinks and eating summerly food until the sun sets, or even far beyond if the circumstances necessitate us to do so. Stars that litter the sky, haven’t we looked up at the firmament at all over winter? As we wander back home and stumble into beds too hot to hold us long. And when we go on vacation, we shed our home skins, think that we can be a new person, like rattlesnakes do.

Read more here.

Summer sky in Maastricht

Summer sky in Maastricht

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“Flag” – a painting in oil on canvas. One of my #earlyworks

This is a very early painting “Flag” (50 by 60cm) that I created in the 80s of the last century. It is a style that I do not use anymore since 20 to 30 years: just oil on canvas – nowadays I use a hybrid technique with, in addition, pigments and sand. I still like this painting though; it is of course an abstract and the motive doesn’t have any particular meaning, although I’ve heard from people that you can read a lot into it, as it looks a bit like the Dutch or French flag or a beach chair, or both. It does have considerable dynamics and the colors are fresh and bright.

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The bright colors are magnificent and well balanced in this particular painting. The nice thing is that if you are using oil colors they stay vibrant and alive for a very long time and there’s a certain deepness that oils create which is absent in other paints. I use a special impregnation that is added to the painting about a year after it has dried, and this makes the colors become even more alive. It also protects the paint over time. Although, if you apply it too early, the paint becomes flaky and falls off (haha, that’s not what you want). And why ‘protect’ paintings? It isn’t as if the people that purchase my work practice fencing on them.

See more of my paintings by clicking here.

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Sketch Nude Woman 20x30cm painting #ampainting #amhappy

I do not paint a lot of pictures of humans; if you look elsewhere in this blog you will see that I mostly focus on animals and in fact on depicting fish! However, in this case, I publish a picture of a nude woman.

I have forgotten where I made this painting/ picture or what inspired me. Practicing away, practicing skills, and getting something onto paper. It looks like 2007 was the year.

I used heavy paper and crayons, which is not the easiest technique as the colors are very aggressive, and you only get one shot, very little room for corrections. I do like it though, because in some cases it is very good to be forced to focus on the motive, and not worry about the execution. In most cases the sketches are turned into paintings after a while… Although I’m not sure that I will actually do that in this case.

I will upload a couple of additional pictures of human motives over the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned.

Learn more about the books by Clemens P. Suter https://clemenssuter.com/2017/01/22/how-to-order-the-books-by-clemens-suter/

#Clemenspsuter #postapocalypse #apocalypse #dystopic #endofworld #reading #painting #writing #art #photoart #photo #book #ebook #travel #discovery #sexy #speculative #scifi #sciencefiction #dystopia #zombies #zombie #survival #prepper #twojourneys #celeterra

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