Listen to this: the Tale of the Fig Leaf

A man enters a costume store. “Listen darling,” he addresses the proprietress, “I plan to attend a costume party, and I have decided to dress up as Adam, and hence I need a fake fig leaf.”

”OK,” says the woman, “Just a minute.” She disappears in the back and after a few minutes returns with a plastic fig leave.

”Sorry love,” says the bloke, “That’s too small to cover MY manhood. Don’t you have anything bigger?”

The woman shrugs and disappears, returning with a larger leaf.

”No, that is still too small.”

Grumbling, the woman disappears again, returning with a huge leaf, big enough to cover a man’s torso.

The man shakes his head: “No, no, that won’t do. It’s simply too small!”

”OK,” says the woman, “Here’s an idea, mister. If your penis is that big, why don’t you stick it in your ear and go as a gas pump?”